This is a fictitious story.
Ever since a child she loved drama, everything for her was in extreme. She celebrated relationships, sadly nobody celebrated her. She loved surprising her family and friends but nobody gave her any surprises. She grew up and met the man of her dreams. He was her world. He gave her all the love but never made her feel special. He bought her gifts but asked her what she wanted. He never took her by surprise. She celebrated his 25th birthday by pampering him the whole day. Soon they got married, they had a grand wedding but their wedding wasn't fun. She had so many dreams about her wedding but bowed down to traditions. Her new family soon showed her she had to come out of the dream world. She was no princess just a daughter in law who had duties the minute she stepped inside her new house. Everyday there was drama and she looked up and said ,"sorry I asked for drama but I wanted happy drama" not the kind she was facing. They had a baby and her world changed. Her baby was her life ,her world and so was her husbands. She wanted to give her baby everything that she didn't get. Everything became about the baby to her and everyone around her. So much that her husband didn't even want her . Love for their baby had blinded him so much that one day he lost her. Lost her to depression. She was so depressed nobody saw, nobody cared. Behind her smile nobody saw how broken she was. That day the little girl in her dies. Help your loved one #fightdepression
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With all the midwife visit and check ups happening behind the scene, we were having a lot of fun at home.. The excitement was pretty visible.. Shopping for tiny mittens, clothes, wraps had begun.. We had also shopped for bibs ( seriously!! would a new born need a bib) who cares when it says " I love my mumma " or "daddy's lil champ"
We had decided on a name.. We loved it every bit for it meant the -magnificent one!! With great excitement we shared the name with our family.. My parents were not jumping with joy but they agreed that it would be our choice.. My in laws on the other hand clearly expressed their displeasure and also suggested a few names.. I asked my husband what he felt and he said no name is better than the magnificent one.. That put a smile on my face, atleast we were on the same page.. I was told my sister in law would pick a name as that's the tradition.. I smiled at the irony where she got to pick a name for her daughter,as there's no one more important than a mother.. Tradition had always won since the day I got married.. So we decided we would name him Kabir- the magnificent one..This time we made sure no tradition came before a parents wish.. He's less than 20 weeks old and in my tummy, yes , you heard it right . I made a promise to my son when he was less than 20 weeks old and just growing inside me..
I don't know if it happens in every country and every culture but surely does in mine.. When a boy gets married he becomes a tennis ball between his mum and his wife.. He's made to chose between the two women he so dearly loves every single day.. I promised to give him freedom to just "live his life".. I promised to my son when the time comes I will let go of his hand so he can freely hold his partners.I promised him he can do that without any guilt because that is NATURE! that's how it's meant to be.. I will not tell him that the girl he chooses would be my daughter.. No she is not my daughter but she surely will be a friend.. I promise you my boy that you need not prove your love to me everyday of your life.. I promise nothing will change between you and me.. I will be there for you always ,I don't believe I gave birth to you alone.. I believe you gave birth to the mother in me.. For the efforts that we both will put in our journey, for the love that we both unconditionally give is why I make this promise.. I want you to go ahead and make a beautiful family of your own as your father and I did.. I promise I will not be the thorn in your new family..For us our family will just grow and I welcome your choice with open arms.. This promise is the only most valuable gift a mother can give her son.. I hope to live up to my expectations!! One Friday evening with great happiness of approaching weekend, I walk to my husbands work to drive home with him. My headphones in full blast listening to my favourite music.. There is something special about Friday evenings..
More than 20 weeks pregnant when on the drive back I get a strange kind of pain in my tummy.. Fear .. Oh my!! What is that? It doesn't feel normal.. My husband pulls back my seat and tells me it's fine just relax.. I close my eyes, stuck in traffic I just try and breathe.. The pain just keeps increasing.. They feel like cramps, menstrual cramps.. Why should I get menstrual cramps ? I keep expressing my fears to my husband.. He tries to just calm me.. We reach home in 45 mins I run to the toilet to check.. Nothing.. The pain still exists.. "Rest for a while, I'l call the midwife" , he said. With tears of fear and with trembling hand I hand over my phone to him with the midwife's number on it. He explained to her about what was happening.. "Oh that's just Braxton Hicks, it's very normal. If the pain continues give her 2 panadol and ask her to rest. If she isn't bleeding it's fine." Ahhhh I breath .. Little bubs stay safe was the only prayer.. First time I realised that I loved him so much.. How was it possible I haven't even seen him yet but this love was so pure.. To end this weekend on a happier note, there was one more development..I felt a tight knot in my tummy when I was standing by the heater.. I wanted to jump .."yes yes I feel him , I feel him"..I make everyone touch the knot , awestruck my husband and sister tease me it's just gas!! Gas! No way that's my little bubs saying," I am well , mumma." 20 weeks into my pregnancy we were to find out if it's a boy or a girl!! Phoebe or Phoebo (for all those who are friends addict like me ;)
We played a little game with both our family, where each one guesses if it's a boy or a girl and the winning side gets a treat from the losing side.. Maximum number of votes for a girl!! I felt it was a boy , hoped it was a girl.. Reason I wanted to go shopping with her, to the spa and do all the girly stuff with her.. My husband voted it's a girl and also prayed it's a girl.. Reason he wanted to pamper and spoil her to bits.. Verdict at ultrasound.. BOY!! Immediately I knew he's gonna be a mumma's boy(if there can be daddy's girl , why not mumma's boy).. I knew I would enjoy digging for tiny worms and not be bothered about my nails anymore.. or play with guns and bikes.. In the end I knew all that matters was a healthy baby be it boy or a girl .. They were just two 17 year olds when they met and fell in love with each other.. How life has changed for them since ..
All he wanted was to have a cool well paying job, sports bike sports car blah blah blah.. That's all she heard throughout their dating days.. Big Dreams.. She felt where does she fit in? Did he even love her? He loves his bike more than her.. Sigh!! She wanted a nice house which she would make it into their home.. Today he has a good job.. Lots of respect from his Colleagues, bosses.. Sports car and sports bike..nah he has a family car which she messes up everytime he cleans.. She did fit in and she fit in perfectly in his dreams.. They started being content with what they have.. They both realised that inner peace and happiness was all they both have always wanted.. They are still working together to buy their dream house which they want to make it into their home.. Till then they both know home is where they are together and that's where they belong ..together.. My first midwife visit, first scan, first baby.. Need I say more, I was just a bundle of nerves. Silent prayers - let all be fine..
My midwife was a 55+ lady who seemed very pleasant to talk to..As we entered her room, I noticed some posters of cute babies, baby in the tummy etc etc..Not what I was expecting.. What I had in mind were some dreadful equipments.. I started to breath.. Once she heard me out.. She explained that we would be meeting every month initially to discuss my birth plan.. I thought in my mind "what's a birth plan and how do you plan such this" ,"I go into labour , you deliver my baby" why should I have a birth plan? I mean " what's a birth plan".. I thought I would be meeting her just for a check up every month .. When I got a couple of minutes alone with my husband, I told him all that was on my mind.."Relax honey, check ups and doctors isn't that you are afraid of, is this not better? you get to plan, how you want to do it" Ohh!! I hadn't seen it like that.. This sounds much better than my way.. Thankfully, I started easing up to meeting my midwife every month.. We now had a very tough decision to make -selecting a midwife , who would not only help me deliver my baby but would be guiding me throughout my pregnancy..
Hence began the hunt for a perfect midwife.. We both had different ideas. My husband wanted someone very knowledgeable and experienced to handle his precious baby and wife.. On the other hand I wanted someone who would just be nice to talk to and understanding of my doubts and fears.. Needless to say, we picked the most knowledgeable and most experienced one. Luckily she did understand me and explained to me that I was not the first one with fears.. It was very normal.. Yay that was music to my ears.. I was not an odd one.. I could see my life changing, my body changing.. I felt different, I even smelt different .. Junk food was getting replaced by healthy food, fruits and nuts replaced my dear muffins.. I had to find the right balance.. I was told to get good rest, not to exert but not be to lazy either..I had to eat well (healthy) but I could cater to my cravings (unhealthy) as well (in moderation).. I had to take a break from my beloved coffee.. What I realised was I had to make some sacrifices, but the best part was no one had to compel me to . I willingly did it , even if I didn't want to.. I did everything that was good for my little bubs.. Maybe, that's the beginning of "Motherhood " , putting your child's needs before yours.. Her mood swings, her emotions, her cravings,her hormones, her fears..That's all everyone around could see.. All failed to notice a different him..
He was trying hard to cope with the situation.. Under the excitement and happiness he hid his doubts and fears.. He kept thinking ,gone are my childhood days and my playful ways.. Under his strong exterior and "All is Well"smile, hid his apprehensions.. He was putting up a brave front , whereas within,he was struggling to see his sweetheart tired, throwing up after every meal, irritated and angry.. Sure it was normal, every woman faces it.. He was told it's ok, only for him it was not ok because it wasn't any other woman.. It was his "Sweetheart ".. Everynight he wrapped her in his arms and whispered a promise that tomorrow would be better. She saw he was different, she saw he was already a father- brave, strong and confident. She put all her burden on his shoulders and slept in peace.. With a silent prayer and hope that tomorrow would indeed be different for her, he just looked at her sleep in peace.. Only thing that motivated him to be strong and determined was the arrival of their lil bubs.. With a smile he saw his dreams.. Summer weekends were generally on road for us.. A very memorable road trip from Auckland to Cape Reinga distance of 425 kms one way to the northern most tip of North Island.. Yes we drove to Cape Reinga and back to Auckland the same day..
Sure we were tired as hell but was an experience of a lifetime..The adventure doesn't end here, after passing the last town Kaitaia we realised ,we ran out of fuel.. So here we were middle of nowhere with no network on our cellphones stranded on the road.. We hitchhiked to the closest town to the nearest fuel station.. The person who gave us a ride took a detour that really just scared us out of our wits.. What I realised was looks could be so deceptive.. He was just going out of the way to help us.. I learnt that day,that we have not just moved to a country which is best known for its scenic beauty but also wonderful people.. New Zealand definitely was the best decisions of our life.. |
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