With all the midwife visit and check ups happening behind the scene, we were having a lot of fun at home.. The excitement was pretty visible.. Shopping for tiny mittens, clothes, wraps had begun.. We had also shopped for bibs ( seriously!! would a new born need a bib) who cares when it says " I love my mumma " or "daddy's lil champ"
We had decided on a name.. We loved it every bit for it meant the -magnificent one!! With great excitement we shared the name with our family.. My parents were not jumping with joy but they agreed that it would be our choice.. My in laws on the other hand clearly expressed their displeasure and also suggested a few names.. I asked my husband what he felt and he said no name is better than the magnificent one.. That put a smile on my face, atleast we were on the same page.. I was told my sister in law would pick a name as that's the tradition.. I smiled at the irony where she got to pick a name for her daughter,as there's no one more important than a mother.. Tradition had always won since the day I got married.. So we decided we would name him Kabir- the magnificent one..This time we made sure no tradition came before a parents wish..
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He's less than 20 weeks old and in my tummy, yes , you heard it right . I made a promise to my son when he was less than 20 weeks old and just growing inside me..
I don't know if it happens in every country and every culture but surely does in mine.. When a boy gets married he becomes a tennis ball between his mum and his wife.. He's made to chose between the two women he so dearly loves every single day.. I promised to give him freedom to just "live his life".. I promised to my son when the time comes I will let go of his hand so he can freely hold his partners.I promised him he can do that without any guilt because that is NATURE! that's how it's meant to be.. I will not tell him that the girl he chooses would be my daughter.. No she is not my daughter but she surely will be a friend.. I promise you my boy that you need not prove your love to me everyday of your life.. I promise nothing will change between you and me.. I will be there for you always ,I don't believe I gave birth to you alone.. I believe you gave birth to the mother in me.. For the efforts that we both will put in our journey, for the love that we both unconditionally give is why I make this promise.. I want you to go ahead and make a beautiful family of your own as your father and I did.. I promise I will not be the thorn in your new family..For us our family will just grow and I welcome your choice with open arms.. This promise is the only most valuable gift a mother can give her son.. I hope to live up to my expectations!! One Friday evening with great happiness of approaching weekend, I walk to my husbands work to drive home with him. My headphones in full blast listening to my favourite music.. There is something special about Friday evenings..
More than 20 weeks pregnant when on the drive back I get a strange kind of pain in my tummy.. Fear .. Oh my!! What is that? It doesn't feel normal.. My husband pulls back my seat and tells me it's fine just relax.. I close my eyes, stuck in traffic I just try and breathe.. The pain just keeps increasing.. They feel like cramps, menstrual cramps.. Why should I get menstrual cramps ? I keep expressing my fears to my husband.. He tries to just calm me.. We reach home in 45 mins I run to the toilet to check.. Nothing.. The pain still exists.. "Rest for a while, I'l call the midwife" , he said. With tears of fear and with trembling hand I hand over my phone to him with the midwife's number on it. He explained to her about what was happening.. "Oh that's just Braxton Hicks, it's very normal. If the pain continues give her 2 panadol and ask her to rest. If she isn't bleeding it's fine." Ahhhh I breath .. Little bubs stay safe was the only prayer.. First time I realised that I loved him so much.. How was it possible I haven't even seen him yet but this love was so pure.. To end this weekend on a happier note, there was one more development..I felt a tight knot in my tummy when I was standing by the heater.. I wanted to jump .."yes yes I feel him , I feel him"..I make everyone touch the knot , awestruck my husband and sister tease me it's just gas!! Gas! No way that's my little bubs saying," I am well , mumma." |
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October 2016
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